The Ones That Never Knock...
With all of the latest corporate finance scandals among Wall Street analysts, here's our top 10 suggestions of new career opportunities for former Merrill Lynch analyst Henry Blodget. And if these don't work out, he can always get a job filtering spam at the Valley of the Geeks headquarters.
1. Petsmart delivery boy
2. Bankruptcy trustee at Napster
3. ImClone vaccine test patient
4. KMart customer service manager, Martha Stewart collection
5. Anthrax inspector, Nortel mail room
6. Digital piano tuner
7. Chauffeur for New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer
8. Director of executive gift policy at Tyco
9. William Shatner's singing coach
10. Jack Welch's personal chef (New York)
Plus if these don't work out there's always:
11. Jack Welch's personal chef (Aspen)
12. Jack Welch's personal chef (Miami)
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All contents fictional and satirical.