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Gore To Run In 2008

Zack Urlocker
Thursday, April 12, 2007

Related News:

Marathon Man

Gore in 2004In an exclusive interview with Valley of the Geeks, former US Vice President Al Gore has announced that he plans on running again in 2008. Here are the highlights from our interview held at the St Rutebega High School auditorium in Cartilage, Tennessee.  Gore covers his plans to beat Bush, his training regimen, a geography lesson and more.

What made you decide to run again?

In many ways, I've never stopped running. I mean I went through my Brian Wilson period for a while in 2000, but now I'm getting back into it. I cut back on my drinking and I'm ready to roll. I am definitely going to run in 2008. In fact, if it warms up later this week, I may go out for a couple of miles. But definitely by 2008. That's a long way away, so I have plenty of time to procrastinate into the future.

Do you think you can beat Bush?

I'd certainly like to beat him. I need to beat him. I will beat him. That's certain. Unless, I fail to beat him. In that case, it is less certain. But I will definitely try. The man has done a good job so far. But there are distractions, to be sure.

Such as?

I don't see how Bush can maintain his training with the recent war on Iran.

Do you mean Iraq? We're not technically at war with Iraq.

Iran, Iraq, whatever. Its the middle east, that's the point. I'm just a regular son of a wealthy congressman from the south and Bush is from big business. What matters to the spirit of families when you're joined at the heart is to have earth in the balance on the way home. That's how you create a best seller. (Calling out) Tipper, I think I plugged all the books. Maybe I can use this on Saturday Night Live again.

So what's your strategy for running in 2008?

This is a marathon, not a, whatever's less than a marathon. What matters in the long distance runs is the ability to run the whole distance, not just the race itself. So the first 20 miles are the most important. And the last twenty miles are even more so. Put it together and that's an awful lot of distance.  I'm ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur, and you can quote me on that.

But what's your campaign going to be about? What's your policy?

My policy is to train hard, keep on running and make sure you get out there and run or at least talk about running. Also, plenty of carbs. Tipper makes these great bologna and cheese sandwiches. With a diet coke, that's really all the food groups. That's about as much policy as I can talk about at this stage.

You took a strong stand last year on global warming with the film an inconvenient truth.  How will this issue affect your running?

Global warming is more than just an inconvenience.  It has already affected by running.  Last year I was going to go out for a run, but it was well into the 90's, so I had a sandwich and a nap instead.  Things are starting to warm up, now so we'll have to see.  Maybe in the fall, the global warming thing will be a bit cooler and I can start running then.

What about Bush's standing in the polls?

Sure Bush has done good with that 9/11 thing. But that was just a good break for him. But if the economy continues to go south then I think maybe Bush should be spending more time on policy and cut back his training runs to once a month. A zebra can't change it's spots, so I've got to get 110 percent to be in the game. That's what I'm all about.

Surely you're not hoping for tougher times for the country after all we've been through?

I'm not saying no, I'm not saying yes. I'm saying that if you want to run the race, you have to race to win, that's all.

What's driving you to do this again?

I was pretty athletic when I was younger. I played baseball at St. Albans and I played center bench on the basketball team at Harvard. So I was well prepared to sit out the last couple of years. But now I'm ready to give 110 percent to -- Oh, I think I used that already. I am prepared to get in the game by really getting in the game and giving it a run. Also, Tipper's told me I have to drop 20 pounds if I want to see Miss Kitty again.

How is this race going to be different than last time?

I did a 4:58 marathon in 1997. Technically Bush has done 3:44, but that was a PR for him in '93, and he keeps getting older.  So I think we're pretty evenly matched at this point. To be honest, I could have finished faster, but I got a little confused at the twenty mile mark. I paused for water and to have a short nap and when I came to there were secret service agents and paramedics on me. I had to knock them out of the way to finish the race ahead of my daughters. I'm not going to let that happen to me again. The future will be better tomorrow, rather than in the past.

What's next for Al Gore?

Lately, I'm working on inventing a new fabric that would be great for running in the rain, especially outdoors. I call it Gore-Tex. I think this could be as big as the Internet. And certainly more waterproof.

About the author
Zack Urlocker is pseudonym for a Silicon Valley software executive and occasional marathon runner.


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