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Web valleyofthegeeks.com

Unofficial Webby FAQ

Zack Urlocker
Monday, May 13, 2002

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Vote Early And Vote Often

The Webby AwardsThe Webby Awards recognize the unique role that the World Wide Web plays in the quest for creativity, technology and naked pictures of celebrities. Unfortunately, Valley of the Geeks was not actually nominated for a Webby Award since we didn't get around to sending in the nomination form. SatireWire and TheOnion are excellent nominees, but the others? I think it's safe to say we have more laughs per kilobytes than anyone else. Therefore we encourage all geeks to go to the official Webby site, register and vote for Valley of the Geeks in the "People's Voice" category for humor.

Please note that we're not suggesting that you should vote for Valley of the Geeks just because you are related to the author or because we owe you money. Instead, we're asking you to vote for this site because you are too cheap to actually buy an RTFM hat or otherwise sponsor the site and you're starting to feel guilty about how often you have laughed out loud. I mean, it's always take, take, take. Now it's time to give something back, by taking a minute to register and vote for this site.

Since we know that many of our readers are talented C++ and Java programmers, we are not suggesting that you should write a little program that automatically register multiple times, and floods the Webby site with thousands of votes for Valley of the Geeks. That would be wrong. And the judges are on to this. However, I am sure that a few of our more advanced readers are capable of building a J2EE SOAP-compliant web service that automates the process of voting for Valley of the Geeks with impossible to detect random distribution over a network that taps into thousands of computers worldwide. Well, that would be pretty cool. Not that we're suggesting it, of course.

  If you're still curious about the Webby, take a look at our unofficial FAQ below.

When did the Webbys start?

The Webby awards were started in 1938 by Cornelius Shlain, an entrepreneur from Festoon New York, to honor the unique contribution of cotton and canvas webbing, trimming, tapes and filament yarns. Webbing is used in the manufacturing of items such as brake linings, harnesses, hydraulic tubing, tents, luggage, underwater diving gear, fashion belts, leisure suits, horse halters, dog leashes, adult fantasy tethers and un-manned space stations.

By 1996, when even Microsoft figured out something was going on with the Internet, Cornelius' grand-daughter, Tiffany, sensing a unique opportunity by having the www.webbyawards.com domain name refocused their efforts on the World Wide Web.  Tiffany then created the International Academy of Digital, Arts, Sciences and Banner Ads (IBAD) to recognize the unique role that world wide web plays in hampering employee productivity for millions of people daily.

What is the plural of Webby? Is it Webbies or Webbys?

We weawy don't know.

How does a site get nominated for a Webby?

A site is nominated for a Webby in recognition of creativity, technical accomplishment, and application fees paid. Fill out the application form and let your Ben Franklins do the talking. Slip in a few extras and maybe a new category might be created, if you know what I'm saying.

Who selects the winning sites?

There are 350 voting members who go through the nominees to determine the most original, creative and desperate sites. The membership includes such leading technology innovators such as Larry Ellison, Guy Kawasaki, Esther Dyson, David Bowie, Dennis Rodman, Julia Child, and the late Laurence Welk. Basically, no one you know personally, so forget about trying to coerce them into voting for your site.

They have time to do this stuff? Shouldn't these people be running companies or something?

Hey, at least they're doing something. You're just reading a FAQ.

What if I wasn't nominated? Can I still win?

Not bloody likely. However, there is a "People's Voice" award in each category that goes to whichever web site has the most spam.

What's the final date for People's Voice vote?

The polls are open through June 7. Better get cracking on that email virus thing.

Who tallies the votes?

All balloting is audited by the staff of PriceWaterhouseCooopers, none of whom are convicted of felons as far as we know. They have assured us there will be no shredding of votes.

So is this like the Oscars or what?

It's like the Oscars, but instead of having long, tawdry acceptance speeches, the winners are limited to five words or less. Last year, The Onion's acceptance speech was the heart-rousing "To advertise, call Phil Meier."

Why is the Webby award a spring?Boing!

It was a promotion used by WebVan, one of our early sponsors. They had a warehouse full of 'em and we picked them up in bankrupcty. You know, spring into travel, spring ahead, spring for life, spring fling in Afghanistan, buy a spring, get a spring. We have about a ten year supply of these things. If you can think of a better use, let us know.

What if my web site goes bankrupt before the awards are made? Can I get a refund?

That's very funny. You should definitely consider a nomination in the Humor category. No you can't get a refund. And even if your company no longer exists, we encourage you to come to the awards. You can work with the other former Business Development executives parking cars at the Valet service.

Are there any new categories this year?

Recognizing the changes in the industry, several new categories have been created. The new categories and nominees are shown below.

Most Spectacular Financial Pyrotechnics
WebVan, Exodus, Excite@Home, The Globe, Pets.com

Company You Most Wished You'd Sold Out To When You Had The Chance
Yahoo.com, Amazon.com, Cisco, Microsoft, eBay

Most Annoying Popup Ads
X10, AOL, GeoCities, Real.com

I'm Not Dead Yet!
DrKoop.com, WebMD, Beyond.com, Ashford.com, Egghead.com

Best Turnaround
(No nominees)

About the author
Zack Urlocker is a pseudonym for a Silicon Valley software executive. You can vote for Valley of the Geeks in the People's Voice Webby Award for Humor at www.webbyawards.com/peoplesvoice/index.html

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