Apple Supercomputer

Sidd Finch
Tuesday, January 12, 2010

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(Parsnip, NJ) Students, faculty and custodial staff at the New Jersey Institute of Technology and Monster Trucks (official motto: "What exit?") announced that they created a new supercomputer powered by thousands of Apple computers each with 2% market share. Traditionally,supercomputers have been created using expensive custom-designed CPUs to deliver high-performance computing for highly demanding applications such as random meteorological forecasting systems, protein folding and ironing, and sending spam to extra-terrestials.

"We could have used standard off-the-shelf Intel CPUs" said Computer Center Director Tika Masala, "but people have real uses for those computers.  The students were using them to run Kazaa and the faculty are too busy deleting viruses."  Instead, Masala went on the open market to get Apple computers for a much lower price.  "We can get Macintoshes for two or three bucks a pound," Masala said. "There's a guy in Cupertino selling them by the truck load on eBay."  The new computer, known affectionality as "Big Mac", is housed in racks located in the central administration building.  "Not only is it powerful, but our heating bill is down by 80%."

Separately, Carly Fiorina of Hewlett Packard announced a new initiative to create a grid of millions of discarded HP calculators to help compute how the company will compete against Dell.

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About the author
Sidd Finch, a former telecommunications writer, thinks computers are just super!